Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.
It would instantly cauterize the would, so the person wouldn’t bleed, so it’s not very useful.
if you want information it is
and above, in order, we see a gryffindor, a ravenclaw, and a slytherin
why would you stab a PERSON when you can have TOAST?
There’s the hufflepuff
Reblog for the last one
it’s a game show where everyone eats the furniture in a room and tries to see which is made of chocolate
So basically you’re telling me this is the best fucking game ever created
hips don’t lie by oxford university’s all male choir
I have been waiting my whole life for this. I didn’t know this was something I needed, but not I can’t deny
Perhaps the most ancient school still in operation, the Egyptian School for Young Sorcerers is a grand palace disguised to muggle eyes as an insurmountable sand dune that no one has ever had the audacity to climb. In the heart of the palace is a spacious courtyard with a kaleidoscope of blossoming flowers, meandering cats oblivious to their surroundings, and pools of glimmering aquamarine filled with a continual supply of water drawn through underground tunnels from the Nile for leisure use on days when the heat is unbearable. The school boasts a vast chamber of books and scrolls (a number of which were salvaged from the library of Alexandria), some dating as far back as the age of Hatshepsut. Students can often be found draped lazily over chairs and large cushions reading for hours on end. According to rumoured legend, there is a concealed room with hieroglyphics holding spells to prolonging life and communing with the gods, although its discovery remains nigh impossible as (unbeknownst to students) its location changes every day, and those who have had the luck of stumbling upon it by accident often find themselves with a sudden academic dilemma in great need of immediate resolution (although they never seem to remember what it was that sent them stumbling through their professor’s doors).
Dan, why so competitive
“Dan’s trying to run faster than Emma, Emma’s trying to run faster than Dan, and Rupert’s just anywhere trying to keep up with the pair of them” —David Yates
"I’m faster than Emma." - Daniel Radcliffe
*aggressively grabs you by the shirt collar*
BUT DO YOU REMEMBER HOW GOOD SEASON ONE WAS
*breaks down in tears on your chest*
This applies to every show ever
The tweet, also confirmed by Adam Glass in the responses, The link in the tweet
KATE THE WEREWOLF IS COMING BACK
OMG I LOVED HER
SOURCE THIS NOW! I WANT PROOF CAUSE I DAMN WELL HOPE ITS TRUE
The girl from “Bitten”?
JUST INCASE YOU FORGOT HOW CUTE SEASON 1 DEAN WAS
HOW DOES ANYONE FORGET HOW CUTE SEASON 1 DEAN WAS
do you ever think about how little Michelangelo cared
All right, everyone, grab a chair and sit back because I’m going to share with you what I learned about Michelangelo and the Sistine Chapel in my Art History Class.
The man NEVER wanted to paint the damn thing. But the pope at the time “forced him to” According to my teacher. Michelangelo hated this man, I MEAN REALLY HATED HIM. So did a majority of people. The pope’s nickname translated literally means “Terrible pope”.
And the working conditions were awful. He had to work on his back with all that paint, which is filled with some toxic shit that gave Michelangelo a limp for the rest of his life.
(Also, our teacher made us get on our backs and try drawing with both hands JUST to prove how bad and uncomfortable it is.)
At the time, the ceiling was so high, you could barely see it. You need binoculars to get a good look at what’s up there, by the time people could see the paintings, there was a lot of weird symbolism that Michelangelo hid up there.
This one? The creation of the sun and moon? God is mooning you. And the pope and all others after him prayed under that without knowing.
This one? At the time, dissecting was sacrilegious and everyone found out how behind God was what looked like half a brain. blah blah, science, science, that pissed everyone off.
And also, ALLLLLLL the men and women in the Sistine Chapel are all on fucking steroids. My teacher described the women’s bodies as "Men bodies with boobs slapped on."
And then there is this:
Now this is the back wall. Michelangelo actually wanted to paint this one after he finished the ceiling. (and there was a different pope too, I believe.) However, originally, EVERYONE in that painting was naked. And they didn’t like it. Adam and Eve naked? That’s cool. But Jesus? Now you crossed the line. So the pope at the time hired someone else to censor it and give the important figures clothes. He worked on it for 6 or 9 months before he died.
And then the symbolism in this one is great. Somewhere in the right, there are homosexuals in heaven. (No matter what, the Vatican will say “Those straight men are happy” I’ll get to that in a second), Michelangelo painted himself near Jesus, and the terrible pope is in hell with a snake biting his balls.
And if you were to point ANY of this out to the Vatican, they will deny all of it and claim Michelangelo was a catholic hero. In fact, when they discovered the symbolism around the 60s or 70s, the guy who told the Vatican was kicked out of the Vatican for life.
TL;DR: Michelangelo hated the pope and made the best “fuck you” of all time.
YO. ALL OF THIS^. Michelangelo was hella grumpy all of the time. It was fantastic.
However, as beautiful as this commentary is, I’m gonna make a little correction. The Pope isn’t the one in hell getting his balls bitten; that guy is actually the Papal Minister of Ceremonies a the time, Biagio de Cesena.
See, when Michelangelo was painting this, as you said, lots of people were uncomfortable with all of the nudity (especially because the Last Judgement [back wall mural] was painted much later when nudity in religious art was even more controversial than before), but the dude who was the angriest was de Cesena.
He was so angry that he reportedly burst in on Michelangelo while he was working (which is already a big no-no because Michelangelo’s requirements for working were mostly “fuck the hell off and leave me alone or else I quit and I will stab you in the eye with my paintbrush/chisel”.). He then proceeds to tell Michelangelo that this fresco is disgusting and obscene and shame on him etc etc. He also referred to it as “i stui di nudi”, which means “A stew of nudes” which is one of the best descriptions of a thing ever, if you ask me.
So Michelangelo, probably on the cusp of homicide is like “Thank you for the notes. Now get the fuck out,” and de Cesena reluctantly does.
Later, he comes to see the finished product and finds that Michelangelo had painted his portrait down in Hell to represent the Minos, King of the Dead. He has the ears of an ass and the above described crotch biting snake:
Upon seeing this and being enraged, de Cesena went to the Pope to demand that it be changed and that Michelangelo be punished. However, the Pope was SO incredibly done dealing with Michelangelo’s snark, tantrums, and general hatred of the world and everyone in it, that he didn’t want to do shit.
The Pope’s response to him was literally to say “As Pope, I have a lot of influence on Earth and up in Heaven, but I have no jurisdiction in Hell. You’re shit out of luck.”
And it stayed.
Michelangelo, grade A artist, snark master, and professional dick.